Many of my readers, all 6 of you, are probably about tired of me talking about me and my quitting smoking thing. It’s only Day 3, but I feel that my internal Efx Loop – which is more commonly associated with an amp and a guitar – but – in this case, my brain on drugs I guess is the best way to describe.
What does it feel like? Imagine every single memory you have over your lifetime – all coming at you in bursts out of nowhere. For me at least, that is what is happening. Anything, or so it seems like everything that has an association even in the minutest possible connection will trigger a sudden burst of that event into my mind. Annoying? Yes. Very much so.
It even seems to have gone into my sleep state, as last night I probably had the most vivid dreams I have had in a long time. The weird thing, one of the people in the dream last night – I guess you would call the person the “main character” – has been dead for probably 10-12 years! Quite a weird dream sequence I had last night.
I know that from past experiences of coming clean of this, Day 6 is still looming. For some reason that is always the hardest day at least for me. I guess because you have by that time coughed up enough of the surface of your lungs that are covered in the tar and nicotine from smoking. At that point, your body has nothing to draw on nicotine wise, and is freaking out.
One thing I do know, is that these commit tabs are full of nicotine. That’s why I’m not taking one every hour or whatever I should be. For example, I have not even had one yet today. I’ve been up since about 6:30am this morning. My mind is jumping all over the place just as I stated above. You’ll see how much so in a moment as I tried to finish this post up!
Many of you, at least I am guessing, are tired of reading this addict who is trying to kick the addiction for good and become known as an ex-smoker, but hey – don’t be judgmental about it! Just in the same way as you would not try to judge a homeless person, a meth addict, a crack addict, an alcoholic, or any person that is dependent on something – quitting smoking is quite a breaking experience for some. I’ve done this before, but end up always going back.
I’m getting too old for that. Plus, it’s become so common place now to not smoke, that it’s not a good thing to be doing anymore in 2009. It wasn’t in 2008 either. But as I just stated above, don’t be judgmental of anyone trying to do the same right now.
Technically Speaking, I hope that my 6 readers are somewhat enjoying my rambles. I’ll try to find something else to post about, and once my brain re-wires completely – that could be a long time btw – I’ll probably write about something else more interesting like “Why FriendFeed has so many clones?” and “Why is everyone trying to do something with twitter” or “How do you get hated enough to have complete strangers come up to you to spit on you and harass you?
That last one was just me being a smart ass, I think that whole incident was lame if you ask me. Lame on two fronts – One – that the guy actually did it, and Two – That Big Mike didn’t go after the guy and go old school on that person and just beat his ass! I know the whole “lawyer thing” and “assault charges” probably crept into his mind. I just hope that at least he was tempted.
But hindsight is 20/20, and I’ve been in a similar situation where something very close happened to me once. And to answer – No, I didn’t beat the guys ass either, but my buddy and I did chase him down and when he pulled out a hatchet on us from his coat (yeah, don’t ask – let’s just feel sorry for the person; he was a Vietnam Vet) – decided that it was time to stop the chase and call the cops!
That’s a story for another day. I’ll have to dig out the newspaper article of the event and scan it in so that people believe me anyways. The even took place in 1990, so it’s more than likely not online since it was a small town paper!
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