Never intended to come to Silicon Valley to weed out any demons that I have, but somehow I have done so.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with my travels here, that’s because I haven’t shared much since this post here about ~10 months ago. Most of what I posted on this blog has been boring stuff, little side projects or hobbies I’ve worked on, etc. Nothing really deep or insightful here. Well I did talk about my Saturday trip to Santa Cruz on this blog post.
Everyone has Skeletons in their Closet
Whether you want to admit it, or keep them hidden away, you have them. How you decide to let them out is totally up to you. Over the years of just about getting there, only to hit a wall or being afraid of my own success, and walking away, you end up here. Where I am now. Reality. You figure that you only have a few more shots at this thing called life.
To be quite honest, for me it’s never been hard. It’s like the next magical opportunity kept coming my way. Every time the door shut, the window opened and there I go again. It’s been a constant cycle of highs and lows and blahs. Never one to have reached the golden ring, and always keeping it in sight, just never getting there. I’m the classic example of potential never fully reached. I’m the guy the school teachers told you about. The person you didn’t want to be when you grew up.
The anger builds and you feel that it’s everyone else. As you get older you realize it’s only you that is holding you back. You also realize that while you may be talented and can do just about anything, you also have a higher power in charge. For me that higher power is God. For other people out there it could be something else, but you always know that no matter how talented you are and how egotistical you might be, there is always that bus waiting around the corner that you didn’t see because you were texting while crossing the street.
Realization, Reflection, Change
When you step through that door, or rather go over that line of sanity, you pull back and you figure out that things can’t continue in the same direction. You just end up just repeating the same cycle, over and over. That cycle which I briefly described above is the sick cycle of almost but not quite. It is a cycle that was my demon that needed to to be realized.
One of the more easy things (should be!) to control that has plagued me for years now has been my weight. Of course the main cause of that is that I basically sit on my butt all day to do my job. The latter I can’t control, that is how I make the money to pay the bills, etc. Some things you can’t control. Trust me, you don’t want me swinging a brush to paint a room or hammering nails or fixing cars. I can do all of that and have done all of that, but that isn’t my forte.
The one thing I have avoided is any type of physical activity. The most physical thing I was doing was still the same. Walking places, but usually ended up walking to the bar at the end of the day. And my lifting usually consisted of a pint of beer.
I will admit that it was worse before I came to Silicon Valley. One change I thought would help was, “Don’t keep beer in your fridge!” – ok, that sort of worked, but just cost me more money because when I wanted an adult beverage, I had to walk around the corner to the bar!
That was me – ~9 months ago and even as recently as January when I realized I needed to change. It was either that or I’d sit on my butt and stay home (yes telling myself I was being good by not going to the bar). I would instead proceed to sit and drink a bottle of wine and watch Netflix.
Stepping Through to the Other Side
First things first. Let’s share the picture I took this morning about 1.5 hrs ago now.
This was the view I had as I headed out on my first Saturday morning wun. You are probably saying to yourself, “well there is a misspelled word!” Nope. I call it wunning because it’s more of walking still, with some running – therefore in my mind it qualifies as a wunning or wun.
I’ve been wunning pretty religiously now like ~4x a week. Monday – Thursday. Again trying to control my demons, only going to the bar on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Yeah. That is really working. I’ve turned the corner a bit, but still taking 4 steps forward and 3 steps back every week.
I’ve had a lot of pretty good early morning chats with my coworker Ryan, who I consider a pretty decent friend these days. While he says I’ve helped him change, I think I owe my new changed life to him in turn. I hope that I can always be there for him. He has helped me without even realizing it.
Long Way to Go
While I have quite a long way to go, I am proud to share with you that since I’ve arrived in Silicon Valley at the end of October 2011, I’ve dropped 20 lbs total. Still not where I want to be, and have a long to travel to be back to where I should be weight and health wise, but changing my habits is the first step.
Like I stated above, this exercising and change of habits is the first step for sure. Even minor changes, like last night I went to the grocery store on a Friday night before heading to the bar! Oh and when I got to the bar, I switched up from drinking beer to a vodka drink. Later I had a light dinner at the new Turkish place up the street and a glass of wine.
This morning I basically had nothing on tap that had to be done, so that is where I figured it was good to put my feet and body to good use and go for a wun. Now I’m nowhere near doing a 5k, but my friend Ryan thinks I should sign up for one. My current route is just about ~3.5 miles, so I guess I’m close. Just need to turn up the volume on the running part first.
This is my current route, from the corner where that above picture was taken – so basically minus from the point of where I actually live. If you are local, give it a shot at driving it. It’s basically a route that is entirely up hill. I made it hard on purpose as I need to build up my stamina and helps me get stronger.
Like my friend Ryan has preached to me for weeks now – “Drinking Beer Is Easy!” I was thinking about getting a shirt made that said that on the front, and on the back it says “But I’m not easy… I’m hardcore!” Ok, maybe not.
Anyways, it has taken me longer to write this post than it took to do my wun. Time to hit the shower and get on with the rest of my Saturday.